10.23.2015

Wisdom…and Thoughts on Turning Fifty

{see post below photos}

















{Wisdom}

I’ve done the usual school afternoon kind of things…ride from friends to golf…phone call to the registry…throw in some laundry…tidy the house…plan and prepare dinner…

And here I sit. Contemplating life. And the concept of WISDOM.

My heart’s beating a bit faster tonight. I’m even a little on edge. You see, it’s the eve of my 50th birthday. I’m not sure I ever saw it coming. I have NEVER been one to be concerned with age. I blow the candles out each year and continue on with life.

But something’s different tonight. I’m not sure it will ever be the same. It’s a feeling I cannot truly explain, but I will attempt to describe. It’s a feeling of “what if?” and “when?” and “should I?”.  It’s a questioning of self. Have I done enough in that half of a century. Have I cared enough? Loved enough? Wondered enough?

Have I chased my dreams more than adequately? I mean really made an effort? Even if I fall into bed exhausted?

Have I planned enough, without planning too much?

Will my future meet my expectations?

Are my expectations honest and important enough to pursue?

At the end of another 50 years, will I be able to look at my wrinkly cheeks in the mirror and smile? Will I feel accomplished by my own means and to my own heart?

It is a strange feeling. Different than marrying or giving birth. I feel a new chapter beginning,and  it feels remarkable and frightening at the same time.

I hope I have the WISDOM to do it justice.






30 comments:

  1. Monica,
    First, A Happy early Birthday wish... I have had the same feelings... Not sure if it happened when I turned 50, that was 16 years ago... WHAT? Good grief, now I really feel old.. Enjoy each day, treasure your memories and look forward to the next 50... God willing, good health, joy and laughter.
    blessings,
    Penny

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  2. Happy birthday! Wise words and beautiful flowers, so much to celebrate. You make me look forward to turning 50.

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  3. *H*A*P*P*Y* * *B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y*!*!*!* - I hope you don't have a major mid-life crisis like I did at 50. I quit my job and divorced my husband and went to live on my sailboat on an island. :-) Then I had to talk my husband back into marrying me again. :-) ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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    1. NO WAY! That's hilarious! You wild woman! Thanks!!

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  4. A big birthday wish to you...I'm five years ahead and I don't feel a bit bad about that. When I turned fifty I thought, "Oh no, I've reached the top of the mountain and now it's all downhill!". The important thing we have to remember is it took a lot of strength and gumption to climb that mountain and the experience and wisdom is invaluable. Have a nice slow decline and revel in the freedom of letting loose. the bottom is only as endless as you let it be.

    Hugs,

    Jane x

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  5. Happy 50th Birthday!!

    ... as I scrolled down I said, oh, wow as each glorious photo unfolded, then, as I scrolled a little further and read your thoughts it was a new kind of wow! I feel every word you wrote!!! This fall I find myself thinking, 'the next time I do this I'll be 50!' (I turn 50 in June)

    I love the above comment. It's nice to hear from those who've begun 'the other side'..

    Wishing you a most wonderful day and year ahead!

    on Wisdom: The big thing I've learned is the older I get the less it seems I know;-) sigh.

    Hugs and get out there and enjoy!!!

    Thank-you for your comment last night and for understanding/hearing.

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  6. Welcome to the 50s! I hope you celebrated and enjoyed your special day with those you love most.

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  7. lol... my worst birthday was 30... i felt like the world was going to stop and the old saying: "you can't trust anyone over 30" kept running through my mind... i guess i survived, being 65 this december... the questions you ask are normal but remember one thing, "you did good"... look at what you have learned over the years... the wisdom you hold deep in your heart...look at your family, friends, and work... they need your love, guidance, and spirit... so turning 50 is nothing compared to what you have, what you've done and will do... you are the power within and bring so much joy with your blog... happy birthday, my dear monica... happy birthday... god bless... barks 2 stormy and tons upon tons of hugs2u

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    1. Thanks Jeri! And we just took Stormy off of prednisone for the first time in 3 years :)

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  8. Happy birthday! I hope you enjoyed celebrating :)

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  9. turning 50 was hard for me....I remember being sad and not being sure why...I got a call that day from the boyfriend of one of the girls...he said "i heard it was your bday and just wanted to say congratulations" when I hung up I got to thinking...he had lost his mom when she was in her 40s and so she had never lived to be 50..so I stopped being sad and turned it around to be happy I had what I had and was indeed lucky to be seeing 50....

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  10. Happy Birthday Monica. I have so enjoyed getting to know you. Fifty is a few years away for me still, but hubby just turned fifty a few weeks ago. Life is such a gift, and I find I'll take aches over angst any day. :)

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  11. Happy birthday! You should be proud of all you've accomplished and built, including this wonderful and lovely blog. Hope its been a great day!

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  12. Hope you are soaking up your birthday, Monica. :)

    Something about 50 is definitely different than the others. At 52 I feel confident but not...proud but inadequate...excited but worried that time passes too quickly...excited that we might have grandkids someday but how could we possibly be that old?!

    We just have to remember to live each day to the fullest. :)

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    1. I totally agree Stacey! And I am soaking it up!!

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  13. A belated happy Birthday!

    50 is just a number. It's what we do with that counts. I remember when my grandparents were in their 50s and I thought that's so old. Now that I'm a year closer to the next digit (60), I don't feel old. Well OK, except when I stand up from weeding the garden.

    I hope you had a great day and an even better celebration.

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    1. thanks so much! And yes, to the after weeding hip/back stiffness! You're so sweet!

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  14. A wonderful thoughtful piece of writing. It's a milestone we all face and with much reflection usually I think...about life. About OUR life. I turned 50 without the slightest whimper. My first and only grandson was born just 11 days before that milestone for me, and that time was sheer GLORY! :-) Beautiful macros too by the way. Just a really wonderful post!

    Consider connecting in with Linda Kay's Wednesday Wit & Wisdom meme on Senior Adventures. We write something in connection to a photo....this would fit right in!

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  15. Beautiful flowers and great photos. And fifty isn't fatal (I survived that birthday a couple of years ago!) Stopping by from Mersad's "Through the Lens."

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  16. Looks to me like you have a pretty good handle on things in general.. good for you. And Happy fiftieth!

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Thanks for chatting!

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