8.13.2009

Chapter One


Hi everyone. Today was a productive day, filled with cleaning , laundry, dishes, a burger at Five Guys(yum), and the Madeline movie. Many of you had very supportive comments about me writing my first book, so I though I'd throw the first few paragraphs out and ask for your TRUE opinions. You can't get published if you suck, so please be good critics. Perhaps this will become a weekly ritual!


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She pulled the worn Frisbee back toward her shoulder, taking in a bigger than usual breath of air before releasing the disc fast and straight. The salty air filled her lungs, giving her an indescribable sense of peace. But the angle of the sun and the muted pinkish-purple hues of the sky made her realize that she was going to be late-again.

“Come on Sam, let’s go,” she said, her body suddenly tense from head to toe.

“I promised Dad I would be home before dark. It’s going to be close. Come on, let’s run.”

Sam looked up at Molly with understanding, dropping the punctured Frisbee at her feet. Molly grabbed it, unconsciously wiping the saliva across her cutoff jeans. Molly and Sam ran quickly past the lighthouse, across the wide expanse of green grass, across the gravel filled driveway, and down the clamshell path to the cottage. Daylight seemed to hang by a thread, knowing that a promise was at stake.

As Molly turned the knob to the front door, she heard the crunching sound of tires on the driveway. She closed the door behind her, knowing she had made it…this time.

Molly quickly washed her hands and poured a bowl of cold water for Sam.

“Our secret,” she whispered in his ear, leaving a quick kiss on top of his head.

She opened the door just in time to see her dad stepping down from his red 1970 Chevy pickup. A smile crossed his face as he saw her approaching.

Copyright 2009 Monogram Girl

5 comments:

  1. I liked it a lot. I normally prefer first-person stories, but will engage myself in third-person stories when I know the writing is well-done.

    And here is how I KNEW this was well-written. This line:
    Daylight seemed to hang by a thread, knowing that a promise was at stake.


    GORGEOUS imagery.

    Thank you for putting this out here for all of us to see.

    I look forward to the rest of the chapters.

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  2. Believe me, this does not SUCK! I want to read more. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Your description of her taking a deep breath, lungs filling with the salty air, instantly brings me back to my times on the Cape.

    Good writing transports you to another place. I look forward to reading more - Good job !

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  4. I want to read more! Very well done!

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  5. I would also like to read more!

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Thanks for chatting!

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