Sometimes when you come home from work
you need to leave on your down vest…and scarf and boots.

Sometimes you need to take a look out the kitchen window at the woods, mid-way 
through loading the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher...

…and acknowledge the something that stopped you in your tracks...
maybe it's the way the sun is playfully dancing across  the pines….

…reminding you that the days are indeed getting longer...

…or perhaps it's the junco sitting on the railing of the porch, watching you…waiting to see if you choose regiment over spontaneity…

….whatever the reason, you cross your fingers that your camera isn't flashing low battery, and you head outside, knowing that daylight slips too fast in this first month of the year.

You step outside expecting the winter wind to cut across your cheeks,

yet the air is calm, and trees still.

You wander, knowing this place that monopolizes your spring, summer and fall...

this place with remnants of your heart…a stolen blossom, seeds dispersing...

echoes of your heart running like children up and down the hill.

You embrace the feeling, 

drinking in winter's infusion of pure air and windswept grasses.

This time you once viewed as barren, 

is instead an intermission only for nature.

And as you head back up the hill, with a knowing smile and numb fingers,

you understand why you were invited.


The Edge

There is something to be said for that time between wake and sleep. 
After watching Jeanne Oliver's first segment in her "Becoming: The Unfolding of You" series, I turned off the lights and absorbed every ounce of silence in my bedroom.
I've tried to discover who I am before. I've tried to "listen" to an inner voice. 
But this time was different. It happened IMMEDIATELY. 
"You are meant to teach." 
I heard it so loudly and clearly. And I panicked.
I have taught for 23 years, and  I thought I was being called in another direction.
Then the voice said, "Teach from the heart."
And I knew. Right away.
My garden. My flowers. My crazy trailing pumpkins.
I am meant to teach others about it all.
I'm not sure how. Or when. 
But I am ready.
Thanks to Jeanne.
And Silence.
And Listening.



 First off, for my loyal readers, I apologize for my absence.
My dad passed away recently, and my time and mind and heart have been with my mom, and family, and trying to get through this difficult time.

 I think I am ready to come back now. My heart still aches, and the tears still sit so close to the surface. But I think he would have wanted me to get back to writing.

So as I talk about my word for 2015, "CHANGE", I suppose that he is the catalyst.

For I truly don't believe I am the same person I was 17 days ago.
 But somehow I will dig deep, and persevere.
 I will use my sorrow to look for the light...
 I will draw from a faith that was unending and pure...
 And when I long for a word of encouragement from this man who 
taught me a love of birds and flowers and nature...
 I will look to the heavens for his quiet nod of approval...
a wispy cloud, a hawk in flight, an ocean's breeze.
I will carry him in my heart forever....a bouquet of zinnias....tied up with a bow...from me....to him.


Choosing a Christmas Card

Well we headed out to the beach today on this mild (54 degree) "beach day" here on the coast of Massachusetts.  "Make this easy for me. Please." were the words I uttered before I left the house. Somehow it has gotten HARDER to take photos as they get older. More grumpy faces. 

It was sunny and tolerable at the beach. But REALLY windy. So we had a LOT of squinting, and a lot of grimacing. And a lot of hair in the face.

But there was also a lot of laughter, 

And leaping. 

And brother/ sister time.

And did I mention laughter. Oh, I did? Well, as you can see, I meant A LOT!

And then we had the ever pensive one photographing the steely blue waves.
And boy, his wave photos look like a painting. He has the eye. Proud mama moment.

And then the wind calmed for a moment, and the kids looked serious, and the camera clicked, and we got it. Our card. 

Like right now you can save up to 50% on select cards!

And sometimes your kids do too.



I am Thankful

Sometimes it takes shutting out the noise of life and truly searching inside ones' self  to see and truly understand what we are thankful for. First and foremost, my children, husband, parents, brothers, sisters, in-laws and other relatives are at the core of who I am. As are my friends. And I am thankful for them daily, unconditionally, and truly without having to utter a word.

But this Thanksgiving, I tried to look beyond the obvious. Life has been busy, and busy is good. But at times I would call it crazy busy. A crazy where I so crave peace, and calm. And jammies. So forcing myself to STOP and listen to my heart feels good, and right, and necessary.

This process has led me to realize  that I am more a creature of routine than I truly like to admit. (Especially because I long for spontaneity). And reflection on my routines shows me that much of what makes me who I am changes with the seasons. Which brings a tremendous smile to these chapped lips. 

In spring I am thankful for:

thawing earth 
clean flower beds
bright mornings

In summer I am thankful for:

bare feet
the catbird
open windows

In fall I am thankful for:

fallen leaves
crisp air
Indian summer
first frost
warm drinks

In winter I am thankful for:

Eggnog (with spiced rum)
winter walks

Happy Thanksgiving!


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